Sara Rosso, digital strategist (@rosso) and When I Have Time fantasizes on who she’d like to see on Twitter in this guest post.
On Twitter, we have the real Shaq (@THE_REAL_SHAQ), the fake Shaq (@NotShaqONeal), and we’re inundated by Tweets from Mr. (@aplusk) & Mrs. (@mrskutcher) Kutcher, but who would we really like to see using Twitter?
And more importantly, how would they use Twitter? Here are 6 people people that would be great on Twitter, and how they might use it. Who would you like to see on Twitter? Add your pick in the comments!
@GeorgeWBush
Now that he’s officially not a president anymore, we’re going to miss some of those great soundbites. I also think W would enjoy Twitter. He’s used to the secret service doing everything for him, but I think Twitter could be a good replacement for some of those tasks:
Getting life’s essentials:
- d dominospizza 2 Extra-large pepperoni with breadsticks and a side of ranch. Ask for “W” at the gate. And an Oreo pizza if you got ‘em still.
Helping his brother campaign:
- Go, bro! Follow my brother, y’all! RT @JebBush For every new follower, I’ll give a dollar towards the RNC.
Staying in touch with friends:
- @condoleezza Oh Snap! Good thing Laura’s not on Twitter, she wouldn’t have thought that funny! Hee hee!
@God
We’ve already seen what it would have been like if God had a Facebook wall. But what about Twitter? Of course, he’d have a limited account and broadcast only. Incoming Direct messages and @replies would have to be disabled, but a few outgoing direct messages might be sent to the lucky ones. Maybe.
Even he appreciates irony:
- If I see one more Tweet about how busy someone is, I’ll cause a plague.
Dealing with an Inbox from….heaven:
- Thinking of declaring email bankruptcy.
He has to face the same tech problems we do:
- Anyone have a good website designer to recommend? Www.God needs a refresh.
And even enjoys a good Twitter contest:
- First person to reply gets a miracle. Go!
@SilvioBerlusconi
The Prime Minister is one of the richest men in Italy, but he’s probably best known internationally for his recent gaffes, including calling President Obama “suntanned.” But he’s got a whole arsenal of soundbites the general public are missing out on. Why not give him a more immediate voice?
He taps into his Twitter followers to find his new political mates:
- Who wants to be a velina-showgirl or a minister? DM me with a photo. PS: Only if you’re bella!
He keeps his colleagues in touch with official state business:
- @Presidente I’m running late, still waiting for my lasagna. Can you tell the Senate to wait?
and he gets feedback from his constituents:
- Thinking of buying the only TV station in Italy I don’t control. Shall I call it Berlu2?
@Shakespeare
While we already have plans for a Shakespeare masterpiece on Twitter called “Twitter of the Shrew” but I’d rather be following the man himself.
He’d be a newbie, too:
- Finally on this Twitter thing, thanks to @KitMarlowe. How does this work?
He’d turn to Twitter in ‘troubled’ times:
- Drat, I’m even feeling Twitter Block. Why only 140 characters? Why have you forsaken me?
He’d have domestic troubles just like us:
- A rose by any other name…is currently dying on my counter. Where is the cleaning lady?
@ElvisPresley
So, he wasn’t much of a songwriter, and if he wasn’t singing in the movie, he wasn’t much of an actor, either, but I’m sure he’d get the hang of Twitter quite easily and use it as a way to get closer to his fans. After all, it’s only 140 characters.
Even Elvis has some downtime:
- Taking care of business…waiting for my car to be serviced in Memphis. Anyone wanna Tweetup after?
He loves user-generated content like everybody else:
- Hey y’all, post pics from last night’s show to the Hunka Burnin’ Love Flickr Pool.
He outsources his needs to his Twitter fans:
- Who do I have to screw for a peanut butter and banana sandwich?
@MarthaStewart
For Martha Stewart, the queen of the home, Twitter would be just another little thing for Martha to master. I think it would appeal to her love of minimalism and creativity. Or perhaps, get her into trouble.
Even Martha would click on THAT link without realizing it:
- @DonnaHay You should have labeled that link “NSFW” – I opened it while I was live on the show demonstrating Twitter!
She’d find a way to personalize even in 140 characters:
- Finally found a way to dress up these Tweets with some spiffy icons.
She might get lost in the intricacies and wonders of the Internet:
- I’ve been spending all day making long, long URLs into TinyURLs. Maybe I’ll post one soon, but for now I’m just enjoying the process.
She might share the ‘real’ Martha…off-screen:
- Just uploaded tonight’s dinner with TwitPic: mac n’cheese…from the blue box! Don’t judge. I’m addicted to the orange powder.
Who would you like to see on Twitter? Add your pick in the comments and tell me why!
@niksiv
Nice list! It would really be cool if some of those people were on Twitter.
@twitbanking
haha I remember following the fake shaq! now I dont even follow the real one
@shecodes
Actually, @marthastewart is on Twitter.
@Ugogurl
Ummmm… @marthastewart IS on twitter…. has been since Feb 19th (although not saying much)
Wish is now granted.
@victoriporn
What, you mean @almightygod isn’t *really* god?!
@punchinelle
Great list! For sure I’d follow old W. And Shakespeare, but there already is an @god. (Is it the real one or not? Well, whatever you believe.
@Kidpartyplanner
There are so many I’d like to see so I’ll just name the first four
Kurt cobain
Brian molko
Bertie ahern (I’m Irish)
Des bishop (again Irish)
@jayoatway
Actually, @God is already on Twitter.
He’s quite funny. Not how I imagined him at all.
@napfish
I’d like to see Winston Churchill on twitter. I could live with out Martha.
@greenmullet
how about charlie manson?
@masterdater
Hmmm…
@schwarzenegger
-great source for growth hormone and cigars…
@DrRuth
-I swear there really is sex after 80! see my pics on flickr!
@SilvioBerlusconi
Dude. @MarthaStewart is twittering and she is hot hot hot!
@shokk
Dumb Twitter list. Especially since half of them aren’t alive to be on Twitter.
@SisterDiane
Martha Stewart DID just join Twitter: @marthastewart. And, obviously not a real account, but still a funny follow: @HolyGod.
@rosso
@SisterDiane – Yes, I know! I submitted the article earlier this week! We’ll see what she has to say. Probably her sister (who also does most of Martha’s blogging)
@ariherzog
Echoing Diane, Martha Stewart is very alive on Twitter, fake or not, at @marthastewart. I was also going to mention @HolyGod… but @God is also there.
@bignoise
@billmaher needs to ramp it up; @frankzappa would be good as well (while we are dreaming)
@TheSourceress
I’ve been thinking about who I’d most like to follow on Twitter for a while. Thanks, Sara, you have inspired me to put my list together here: “5 Fantasy Twitter Follows
@degenerasian
@pele
could be the soccer player or the Hawaiian goddess.
@anndouglas
I was thinking about this very topic this morning — and trying to come up with a pithy hash tag for the topic — but now you’ve saved me the effort.
I’d love to find the following folks on Twitter:
- Sarah Harmer (Canadian folk singer and environmental activist) http://www.sarahharmer.com
- Keri Smith (author and artist) http://www.kerismith.com
- former president Jimmy Carter
Some brands
- iTunes and iTunes University
- Moleskine notebooks
- Flickr photos
@jonathanmorgan
Thanks for the list. It’s a shame you didn’t put more effort into the Shakespeare one. In this piece he sounds like your average upper middle class Southern Englishman quoting Jesus (“Why have you forsaken me?”) Wouldn’t it at least been “Why hath…”?!
@DotComDud
Sounds like Shakespeare has gotten rusty. The best part of this was the idea of ordering pizzas via Twitter, if only @dominospizza really worked!
@pfanderson
Actually, Shakespeare is there also, although he is MUCH more active on Plurk and Friendfeed. The Shakespeare I follow (who engages in conversations elsewhere) is:
https://twitter.com/Wwm_Shakespeare
There is another Shakespeare who simply provides quotes, lacking in the personality of the other.
https://twitter.com/tinyshakespeare
@thebenchs
Great and funny at the same time good pots.
@eliza_h
I have my top 6:
@Mandy_Patinkin (actor from The Princess Bride, Criminal Minds, and BWay singer)\
@Carol_Spinney (puppeteer for Big Bird)
@Zebba_Zeeba_Etta (group of crocs from the comic “Pearls Before Swine”)
@Jonas_Brothers (the Jonas Brothers)
@Imagineering (people who design and build rides at Disney parks)
@JK_Rowling (Harry Potter author)
@cutandsewn
I’d recommend the McDonald’s characters. Hamburglar, Grimace, and of course the big man Ronald McDonald.
@HollyJahangiri
Hilarious. Of course, if God opens a Twitter account, Satan won’t be outdone…
Oh, wait. They both have minions there, already.