In this post – Ilaria Papini (follow her at @swimturtle) a blogger at turtle^haus and Tech*Tips 4 dodos tells her story of making friends with international Twitter users and then having them come to visit her!
I first became curious about Twitter while I was studying for a Master’s degree in Library and Information Science. These days it’s a very exciting field, and the focus is more on the information side of the curriculum. I didn’t know anyone who tweeted – this was in the fall of 2007 – so one day I logged on to the public timeline. Of course I did not realize that what I was looking at was a snapshot of a fraction of a second’s worth of activity on Twitter, but perhaps that was all for the best.
I am half American and half Italian, living in New York, and it hadn’t even occurred to me that there would be other languages on Twitter. Imagine my surprise when, on that very first screen, I saw a group of Italians furiously tweeting each other back and forth. It became clear to me right away that these were people who knew each other in “real life” and used Twitter to make dates for pizza and movies, but also to tell each other about their day, to discuss politics, the internet, and so forth. I was fascinated. One guy’s tweets attracted my attention: there was something about his 140-character bursts that spoke to me of kindness. His name is Alfredo (@sirdrake). I asked him if we could be friends, telling him that I was Italian, living in New York, and new to Twitter. He agreed and we started tweeting sporadically – “What is an Italian doing in New York?” “What is a journalist from Rome doing in Basilicata [the deep South?]” “Let’s exchange life stories.” “DM me your email address.” – And so our friendship grew, from Twitter to email, culminating in an email from his girlfriend, our first contact ever: “We’re getting married and coming to the U.S. on our honeymoon. First stop New York, we’ve never been there before. Can you give us some advice?”
“ADVICE?!?!? Are you kidding me? You’re coming to my house in Brooklyn and I’ll tell you everything you need to know.” Cut to them arriving, and our speaking on the phone for the very first time as they are driving in the taxi toward my house from the airport. He is an anchor on Italian television for the national television company, RAI, and she works with a cooperative that provides assistance to disadvantaged youths and immigrants seeking employment. They turned out to be the absolute nicest people in the world. They stayed for a week and then traveled and came back for four days before returning to Italy. We communicate regularly via Twitter, Skype, SMS, email, gchat and phone. Friends for life. Needless to say, I have a standing invitation to stay with them wherever they may be living, in the charming town in Basilicata where they’ve been for the past few years, or in Rome where they are going to be moving within the next year.
On that same very first Twitter screen I saw another man whose tweets were disarmingly candid and sweet. He is a Dutch writer, Mario (@mariokluser), who was just finishing his month-long stint on NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), during which a worldwide community of people challenge themselves to write 50,000 words of a brand new novel in 30 days. On the Twitter screen that day he was expressing his fondness for his fellow “wrimos,” as they’re called, and regret that this intense experience was coming to a close. I too love to write and I felt an immediate kinship with this person, so I asked him if we could be friends. This experience was similar to the last, but this story has yet another twist. We discovered that we had both lost jobs that we loved and were at a crossroads, that point in life where one has to “reinvent” oneself. And we had both decided that we wanted to try some kind of web-based venture. He was becoming an expert in AdWords and I was gaining expertise in blogging. We decided to schedule a work/vacation trip. One of us would travel to meet the other, for about a week, and we would spend the bulk of the time working, teaching each other what we knew, sharing as much knowledge as possible, and the rest of the time having fun. Since I have children and he does not, and since I have visited Holland many times and he had always dreamt of visiting New York but had never been able to, it was a no-brainer to invite him to Brooklyn, but we were both rather… broke. Since we would both benefit from the experience, I offered to pay half his airfare. It worked out great.
In troubled times it may be hard to come up with enough money to buy an airline ticket to cross the ocean, but almost anyone can afford half a ticket! We packed about three months’ worth of work-experience in those eight days (including voting for Obama – they let him in the booth with me and we pulled the lever together!), and we also had tons of fun. The kids thought he was great and we learned a lot from each other. The sweetest thing he said to me shortly before leaving: “When they ask me if I have any siblings, I’ll say, yes, two: a brother in Germany and a sister in Brooklyn!”
So, if you’re on Twitter and you’re interested in traveling the world, here’s my two cents of advice:
Trust
How can you know if someone you meet on Twitter is a trustworthy person (as opposed, say, to an ax murderer)?
- Most people on Twitter have websites and/or blogs. After you’ve read 100 or so posts by a person (or skimmed them,
) you will have a pretty good idea; - As any good tweeter knows, it’s surprising how much of a person’s character shows through in these 140-character installments. If you follow a person’s tweets for a while you learn about their routines, their daily lives, their jobs, their families and their favorite foods (How can someone who loves spaghetti with clam sauce be all bad?)
- There are never guarantees in life. The scariest movies are the ones where the “trusted” or “well known” neighbor or friend or even (yikes!) spouse turns out to be the ax murderer.
The truth is that at some point we just have to decide to trust people. And this goes for people we know in the flesh and people we meet online. One very interesting thing about the internet is that in writing there is a remove that allows people to relax and expose their true selves more candidly. At the water cooler, six inches away from another person, we might become shy and hold back. But on paper we can let our personality shine right through. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the people I had befriended were good, nice, funny and interesting people.
Look for Tweeters Who Share Your Interests
These days there are all kinds of groups on Twitter, and here on Twitip we have already seen reviews of various tools that allow us to search for people.
- Find Twitter users who live abroad and share one or more interests with you;
- Tweet regularly about your interest in traveling;
- Be willing to give back, express your willingness to host foreign tweeters who might like to visit your neck of the woods;
- You don’t have to invite them to your home on the first day!
Let’s face it, people go online to find a spouse, a lover, a long lost brother, a biological parent… so what’s so strange about making friends in other countries and then visiting each other? This is the great beauty of social media. It’s called “social” for a reason! Cheers…
Thanks for writing such a wonderful post. Even i dont have any close friends who tweet so i am trying to make new friends. After reading ur post i am inspired and will try to make friends just as u did. Thanks. You already have a follower here
I read this on the first morning of 2009 and it’s already my candidate for post of the year. Reading things like this are a timely reminder that in a world ravaged by war, poverty and discrimination, there are still a few genuinely warm and human people out there.
This reminds me of my pre-internet days in the Navy. You would be surprised at how people are willing to welcome a traveling stranger into their home. Some of my best travel memories were spent in people’s homes in the Philippines and in Australia. I’ve lost contact with these folks over the years, but hopeful that one day may reconnect with them; maybe even through twitter! Thanks for sharing this!
Beautiful post, thanks!
I couldn’t agree more! I’ve said this EXACT things a million times to clients and friends about navigating internet/phone relationships:
“One very interesting thing about the internet is that in writing there is a remove that allows people to relax and expose their true selves more candidly. ”
I’ve certainly thought of connecting w/ US based twitter friends when in their vicinity- your post has just broadened my horizons, thanks!
/flourishingjudy
Thanks Judy and Rahul! I just know that from now on I’m going to make more and more international friends on Twitter. I wouldn’t be surprised if new apps started to come out with that specific goal, to help people travel the world…
The possibilities are endless!
Darren, thanks for publishing this! A great New Year’s Day gift for me!!! Happy New Year to all!
I’ve made some lovely friends through forums, and have received offers to stay at peoples houses when traveling to various places in Australia. I’ve only recently started tweeting.
Via twitter, I think i’m in the process of meeting up with a few people I admire on my travels this year
Its a fascinating medium that has given me so much possibilities.
I’m looking at doing conferences overseas in 2010 though – maybe twitter could help me find cheap accommodation
Thanks for the interesting post!
Thanks, Darren. I’ve only been on Twitter for a couple of months but I am finding the same story to be true. It’s really heartening to find out that all of us around the world have so much in common. I have several budding friendships developing 140 characters at a time.
Hello, thanks for sharing – what truly is – a pleasant and inspiring story. Twitter seems to be like so much of the web = still a little wild west. I love it. I use it for work and in my personal life, but it like so much is still a question to so many. I’m interested in where things on the web are going; thanks for sharing one delightful place it has been.
Great post, thanks.
Like you I’ve made friends first via blogging, now via Twitter and their generosity to tweetup with me when I am travelling OS or even out of town has been a revelation. No meeting has ever been been anything less than delightful. I’ve met people face to face to confirm their sense of humour/wisdom/challenge that have been revealed in their messages online … all the good things that human interaction provides when you meet in an open-minded, open-hearted way.
Viva.
Great article. What strikes me as absolutely amazing is the way in which technology is enabling people to come closer together. Whether it’s Twitter, blogging, or just chatting, the world can be a of smaller place if we let it
This makes me feel much better because I’m hosting a party next week for some bloggers/friends from Twitter who live in the area. I’ve never met any of them but am excited to meet them.
Awesome post. You have been write most useful guide for twitter.com. From twitter most of blogger make more friends, and fasting update topic to tell everyone’s in the world about our latest post in the blog.
Thank you so must about this post I’m still searching more guideline for twitter.
Hmmm . . . I’ll bet Al Capone loved spaghetti and clam sauce!
@AdsenseWench
Very cool. It’s so nice to see Twitter stories that go beyond how-to-use-twitter-to-market-your-business stuff. The power of social media is incredible.
P.S. Love your site name TurtleHaus
@WendyMerritt
I have always lived very far away from my relatives as my fathers Navy career led us to far away lands. I wish I had had Twitter when I was a kid. It is wonderful to now be able to keep in touch with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins using Twitter. In the last six months I have gotten to know some of my distant relatives better then I knew them in 30+ years.
Thank you Darren and Ilaria for sharing this lovely experience with me.
blessings,
Wendy
@worldharmony
Lovely post. Reminded me of my years as a pen-pal to over 30 people from all over the world when I was in middle school and highschool. I now write to a few of them via the internet. I met a great guy from Brasil on a virtual 3D world over 10 years ago and still write to him – I’ve seen him through his divorce, remarriage, and his daughter growing up. Twitter is simply a new way to interact with people long distance.
I am one of those people who doesn’t bother following anyone who simply retweets, posts news items, or jots down what they are doing “right now” without engaging in any conversation. I prefer to get to know people and develop friendships with some of them. Yes, you have to be careful, but hey, the neighbor two doors down could be the boogeyman- you have to use common sense.
@cirklagirl
Darren,
This is a great post. Refreshing to see people using Twitter this way! I have made a lot of new friends since joining Twitter and other networks. It would be really fun to meet a few of them!
@swimturtle
Thanks to all those who have left these lovely comments! If I make any more “real life” friends from Twitter I’ll write again!
Thanks for having me, Darren! This was a wonderful experience, my first guest post, and I hope not my last!!!
@mariokluser
Hello Ilaria,
Thank you for this wonderful article. Isn’t it great to see that a technology like Twitter can make this world a better place by connecting people everywhere on the globe?
It was such a wonderful experience to visit you. I felt so welcome and part of the family from the very first moment. I’m very grateful that you added me to your contacts on Twitter and look what happened.
It’s great to have a sister in New York and I am very proud of you!
@mariangela
First of all… excuse me for my English!
I’d like to stay at Ilaria’s home for a looong period, to learn your language!
So… Thanks to Twitter my husband met Ilaria e thanks to Ilaria we had the most beautiful honeymoon in the world! We visited NY and then California, according to Ilaria’s advices. During the day, we sent twitters to give Ilaria our position, to have information, to send kisses and to joke! Oh, wonderful period!
Thanks to Twitter now we have a dear and lovely friend, our darling american sister! And her family is our family, cause they are very nice people!
We hope to have them all in Italy very soon, but also we want to go again in U.S.
New York is so beautiful!
Kisses to everybody and thanks, Twitter!
Ah, my husband now fells to be an american black man!
Mariangela