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be Naveen from LittleStomaks : Science-Driven, Real-Life Toddler Nutrition ((@TwinToddlersDad)

Ok, so maybe “conflict” is too strong a term, but I bet you have been in a situation where someone disagreed with you on Twitter and responded with an emotionally charged tweet to your otherwise well-intended message. Or someone challenged you in a way that made you feel a tad bit angry and uncomfortable. So what do you do in those situations? Do you immediately “un-follow” that person? Or do you respond with an emotionally charged tweet of your own to set the record straight?

When people interact – be it in real life or on social media – disagreements and conflicts are unavoidable. To some extent, if you don’t find yourself in these situations, you are probably playing it too “safe” from the sidelines.

When confronted with a situation involving conflict, it is natural for most people to immediately jump into a “flight” or “fight” mode. They either completely withdraw and avoid the situation or dig in to fight back and confront it with the intention of overpowering the challenger. Both of them are highly emotional responses driven by our instinct to survive an adversarial situation or person. And both of them result into a lose-win result, which as we all know, is far from optimal in today’s business environment.

Recognize that you have full control over your response(s). And how you respond will affect not only the immediate result, but your long term prospects for success. This is especially true on social media like Twitter where your “actions” through your messages are monitored by thousands of your followers. Poorly chosen 140 characters can ruin your online image for a long time and force you to waste your energies in doing damage control.

Here are 5 simple suggestions for you to consider as you tailor your response to a challenging situation on Twitter.

Acknowledge

Most conflicts begin with a simple disagreement, which turns into a challenge and then into a full-blown conflict. Before it gets worse, it is important to acknowledge a simple disagreement by a positive, non-judgmental, reflective tweet. At this point, it is not necessary to over-interpret the other person’s message or offer any explanations. A simple “Thank you, great to see my tweet interested you and I look forward to better understand your perspective” might be sufficient. By acknowledging first you set the stage for future conversation. You also indicate to your followers that you respond to disagreements and challenges in a level-headed manner. Such an attitude enhances your online presence and establishes your approachability.

Engage

To what extent you engage the other person depends on how strongly their viewpoint relates to your own purpose on Twitter. Are you looking to establish your brand? Are you looking to build a community of people who share your personal beliefs? Do you want to establish your expertise in your niche and drive interest (and therefore, traffic) in your blog? Are you looking to find friends to share interesting things in your life or seek their support and friendship when you are feeling down?

At times, it might be enough to “agree to disagree” and let it go. At other times, it might be necessary to clarify your position a little more strongly. And at some other times, it might be necessary to control the “damage” by moving quickly and aggressively. Whatever approach you decide to take, don’t jump into it right away.

The first part of your engagement should be focused on clearly understanding the other person’s position and intent. Ask open-ended questions and seek clarifications. Use non-emotional words and phrases and refrain from attacking or ridiculing the other person; rather stay focused on your core message. Sarcasm indicates hurt feelings, so keep it to a minimum. If you sense that emotions are running high, try to first diffuse them using humor (I prefer to make fun of myself first!) and then quickly move on to clarification. Paraphrase often to communicate to them that you understand their viewpoint.

Once you have established that you clearly understand the opposite viewpoint, it is time to execute your action plan. You can settle it in a couple of quick @reply tweets, or a few DM’s back and forth. If it requires more aggressive action, you may even think about writing a post on your blog that addresses the main issues and your response to it. Timeliness and clarity of your response is extremely critical if you decide to take this step.

Ignore

Ignore the urge to respond when your own emotions are running high. Good thing is that no one on Twitter can see you banging your fists on the table, or swearing at the computer! So go ahead and take it out of your system first. Also, you don’t need to respond right away except to simply acknowledge it with a neutral message. Once you have had a chance to think about a plan – and most importantly – the final result you want to achieve, you can being to engage the other person.

Open (Mind)

To me, having an open mind means that you remain open to the small, but finite, probability that you may be wrong. When you maintain and reflect that attitude, those who interact with you also tend to be more open with you. They readily offer their ideas, suggestions, and even criticisms since they trust that you truly value their perspective. Of course, you don’t need to accept or believe everything that comes your way. Having an open mind does not mean that you will not exercise the screen of your own judgment, knowledge and values.

On Twitter, you can reflect your open-minded attitude by framing your tweets in a non-defensive, open-ended and sincerely questioning way. Resist the urge to defend your position right away even though you may be convinced that you are absolutely right. When viewed from someone else’s perspective, it is quite possible that there might be a limitation or flaw in your thinking. An open-minded exchange of tweets can help you discover these gaps or learn something entirely new.

Understand

“Seek to first understand, then to be understood” is one of the habits from Stephen Covey’sThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I think it applies to social media as much as it does in real life relationships. By engaging your challenger with an open mind and ignoring your own personal emotional bias, you will stand a very good chance of developing a solid understanding of the other person’s perspective. This will help you manage the conversation and eventually resolve the disagreement in a way that supports your main purpose and long term goals.

How have you handled disagreements and conflicts on Twitter? Have you done anything different than these 5 ideas? Feel free to share in your comments.