Twitip

by Surya S – Follow @suryasnair

I Twitter. A lot. I am from a country where you form social connections with half the population in your town, and are related to the other half. I now live in a country which values solitude and privacy to a premium. Twitter was the only cheat code I had to find my way into the Helsinki geek/techie social circle. And I started meeting people, making friends and suddenly life was not that monochromatic any more. And I owe it, along with the amazing kindness of people who took me under their wings, to Twitter. And these are the biggest gifts of Twitter, according to me.

Twitter is where you meet your future friends.

This was said by one of my twitter friends, and truer words were never spoken. One of the most amazing things that happened to me after twittering is meeting many of those I follow in real life. It is always a good idea to suggest a tweetup and organize one, and Twtvite is a great way to organize events. Twitter is very viral, the news will spread fast and you will meet an amazing bunch of people.

Twitter is where you learn to let go.

Of course, if you follow only five people, it is early to keep up with what they are doing. But in most cases, you have to let go, and not follow every tweet and conversation thread on twitter. You realize that Twitter is not a bottle from which you drink every last drop. It is a stream from which you take small sips. And once you realize that you cannot be perfect, it is easier to stop being super human at work and in personal life. You realize that your life is not a bottle of water which the world can drain to the last drop, it is a flowing stream from which they can take small sips.

People will walk out of your life. Deal with it and move on.

I had wanted to try out Quitter , and the first time it sent me a bunch of emails saying so-and-so have unfollowed me, I felt bad. But after I had one of those days when everything was difficult to manage, I went on a rampage, ruthlessly deleting the accounts I thought does not really help me much. And then I got it: people unfollowing you on twitter is a bit like you walking away from a conversation at a party. Just because one person moved away from you, you cannot stop talking to the others who want to hear you. Rather than try and change your style of tweeting to get the quitters back, tweet for those who follow you.

And then realization struck. This is exactly how I need to view my dating life. A date is like following someone new on Twitter.  You read each others tweets for a while, and see how it goes. Some times it goes well. Sometimes it lasts only a couple of more tweets. But now a days, when the social equivalent of unfollowing happens, I do not obsess about it or try to find the whys of why the match up did not happen, especially if it is someone whom I really liked. The only caveat here is that while it is more than ok to follow someone who has unfollowed you – especially if you find any value in their tweets – in real life it is better to do the equivalent of unfollowing the other person, however much you think things will still work out.

Sometimes, there are no answers.

You cannot have an answer to everything that happens to you on Twitter. You were not re-tweeted. Someone ignored your suggestion or comment. And if you obsess over why something like this happened, you will not be able to get an answer. The transient nature of twitter prevents us from pondering over each tweet – unless you are being paid to twitter – and a momentary decision of yes or no cannot be explained after five days to someone.

Pretty much the same way there are no answers to why you drift apart from people whom you loved dearly. Why your best friends from past are at best casual acquaintances or total strangers. Why you over share your life with everyone, but clam up from your own siblings. Why the girl who took your email ID never emailed you back. Why the guy with whom you had a wonderful night never called back. Why the deal did not go through at work. Why Kutner committed suicide. It is better to accept the same and move on with life.