Twitip

With the state of the world going down the drain faster than my credit–thanks Target–we single tweeters have but one thing to look forward to–finally finding that special person who will accept us for who we are–big fat slobs.  And with so many people to choose from, especially with a click of a mouse, our online dating options are endless; there’s eHarmony, Match.com and now, twitter?

Cue the Love Boat theme song. Wait, I’m here to tell you why that’s the worst idea you’ve had since deciding to bring back the Billy Cyrus mullet. It’s no news flash that twitter has revolutionized the world; we’ve embarked on a social media network that swirls our ideas around the globe at fast rates–tweet something in New York City and in 30 seconds or less, South Africa is laughing at your joke about the Mexican, the banana and the squeegee. (Don’t worry, I’m Mexican, I can use my own ethnicity in this article) With all this power at your fingertips, why would you want to misuse twitter to find a luvah? You don’t, and here are the top three reasons why.

1. You’ll risk looking like a twitter sleeze. I can see it all now. Harry, the top executive at XYZ Marketing, is the top twitter dog at his firm with many followers and brilliant tweets on great marketing techniques–but every once in a while we’ll notice a tweet from Harry that includes the following phrases: “my place or yours, don’t worry I have a muzzler now, and the whipped cream will be waiting.”  Harry’s reputation as a great marketing guru will take second place to his twitter love affairs. Remember, in less than a minute, twitter can make the world change. With so many networks made for dating–why would you want to use twitter and risk it all?

2. The revenge tweet. Let’s say you decide to use twitter after all and you’ve been dating more than Eminen after his Grammy win. You’re even doubled-booked on Wednesday! Sarah, Mindy, and Kiki–they all love you, but do they love each other? Don’t you realize that your tweets are indexed and can be googled by anyone? And when your Tiger Woods behavior is exposed, guess what’s next? Yes, the revenge tweet! Your name will be plastered all over the twittershpere and good luck trying to find a date then. People are mean in person, well throw in a jealous, jilted lover and twitter and it only spells out one thing–bad news for you. Excuse me as I pull a Chris Crocker, “LEAVE TWITTER ALONE!”

3.   Too Much PDT: Public Display of Twitter. Oh, so you liked dinning at Mr.Chow’s? And the Cyclone roller coaster in Coney Island was a romantic ride, hu? Well, you have to tell me if he liked the new pair of CK’s you bought him with the blue trim. What? How do I know all this, you ask? Because you’re tweeting it all out for the twittersphere to read and judge–might I add. I get it, you want to share your romance details; it’s fun, it’s cute, but it’s getting old–listen to me. Twitter is not your personal online bulletin board to share your entire life’s happenings–who are you, Ashton Kutcher?  When you use twitter to find dates, you’ll be saturating your followers with too much PDT. And it can backfire on you, so be careful.

I’m sure there are a few cases in the twitter love files that didn’t turn into a bad romance, but do you really want to take that chance? When you tweet your love life out to the word and start turning to twitter for dates, you’re risking a lot more than just rejection. Your reputation as a niche marketer, gone. The “go-to” person for new tech toys, vanished. Top dog in the beauty industry, no longer reputable, just like last year’s wrinkle cream–but don’t worry, we will all find love eventually, and in the meantime, there’s plenty of places to look for it–just not twitter.