TwitterFired: The Top 10 Tweets To Get You Fired

by Paul Wilson – follow him @PaulWilson

I have to admit that my very first three tweets ever should have gotten me fired right on the spot.

Luckily for me, I don’t think too many companies in early 2007 were savvy enough to be monitoring twitter. However, recent news has shown us this is no longer the case. With the Cisco job interview fiasco many of us on Twitter learned that our job (or future job) just might be watching our tweets.

With this in mind, I thought I would post the top 10 Tweets I read this week that could possible get someone fired.

10. “hate my job!! i want to tell my bosses how dumb they are and how meaningless this job is, then quit, and be happy!”

9. “So my job was to test all the food at the new resturant, can I just say, ughew. I’m going to taco bell then twistee treat.”

8. “Workin… This job sucks worse then the economy!”

7. “I’m going to work! Walmart! Must find better job! I hate it when chicks there have a deeper voice than me and refer to me as foo!”

6. “Also I’m really bummed that I’m working today, i asked off so i could study but my boss is a ******* **** ***** ***** who can’t read.”

5. “Coworker smuggled out a chair for me. Currently being paid to SIT around and listen to John Barrowman on my iPod. I don’t hate my job today!”

4. “having sex dreams of people you work with makes for an awkward day.”

3. “smoking weed at work is so [EDITED] great :)

2. “It’s bad when you overhear the n00b programmer say “I used to work at McDonalds with him” and you wonder if he is talking about the CEO…”

1. “Huh, with my boss on twitter, maaaybe I should take down that sexy picture of her… but her reaction will be priceless!”

With companies paying more attention to their brand it is becoming more conventional wisdom to tweet like the world is watching–because, in reality, the world is.

Comments

  • May 14, 2009

    Ha, those are CLASSIC! Love it.

  • May 14, 2009

    So you should try your best to be the boss and enjoy your tweets :)

  • May 14, 2009

    Paul, you made my day. I was a civil servant for 26 years. There was no Twitter then but I used my blog to rant about the injustice of boredom and bureaucracy. Nobody else was computer savvy, they had no idea what a blog was – lucky for me. Anyway I didn’t get fired, I retired. Love your post!

  • May 14, 2009

    Hilarious… It’s 3pm and my boss opposite me thinks I’m writing up a report for him – when in fact I’m replying to this post on Twitip!

    …Oh, you mean like that?!

    ;-) Sime

  • May 14, 2009

    Wow, don’t people realize that what they say anywhere on the Internet will be there forever. I am amazed but at the same time I’m not shocked at all.

  • May 14, 2009

    Haha, as the world is watching, should you tweet like “I love my boss, he’s so compassionate and understanding” or “This job is so pleasant”? :) Maybe that could help your status? :D

    Oh well, I think that using twitter while at work is a sin itself.

  • May 14, 2009

    So.. this post is supposed to be a reminder.. or something that’ll crack us up?
    ^^ Oh well, either way. As much as I wish to tweet during working, today’s workload is far too massive to get lazed around. Work comes first..

    *A total opposite from the passage–TwitterPromotion* — well, we all know this is surreal.

    @wchingya
    Social Media/Blogging

  • May 14, 2009

    Things You Should Not Twitter was great for this kind of stuff, but from the looks of it it’s been taken down already.

  • May 14, 2009

    Hilarious!!! How on earth did you find all those tweets??? Thanks for the comic relief!

  • May 14, 2009
    153351

    These are all really lame.

  • May 14, 2009

    omg, these are absolutely classic!
    It still blows me away how incredibly dumb some people can be.
    If it’s online, it’s accessible.

  • May 14, 2009

    What about the cisco fatty? Surely the most famous example?

  • May 14, 2009

    LOL! These will definitely get you fired. I went to start laughing if I read some of them.

  • May 14, 2009

    Hah! Funny. One solution is to get a job that REQUIRES you to use Twitter! And all the other cool social networks out there. Oh, and blog. Ahhh, social media and marketing people get to have all the fun.

  • May 14, 2009
    Aleem The Kid
    @AleemTheKid

    A good reminder for all and a very hilarious post. Good one.

    Wow, now everything we do can be very harmful to our status, brand and even jobs. Not just on twitter, but everywhere on the web. I REALLY hope I won’t make these mistakes.

  • May 14, 2009

    Yeah that would be hilarious – asked into the boss office of doom to answer such accusations. The secret is to remember the big brother paranoia – you never know who is watching what you say!

  • May 14, 2009

    Lol great pots i love it. A lot of people are taking twitter to free there mind and what happed its that they don’t know that a lot of people might see his updates or Rt it and they a lot of people would see it and reach to were he would thing too.

    In fact the best thing is: think before you tweet.

  • May 14, 2009

    I chose to ignore Darren’s first tweet.
    But when he couldn’t stop ‘giggling’, I was forced to click.

    Nice post Paul..

    That second tweet from Darren was good. I see him doing so often. Must be an effective strategy. Guess that would help him make another post :)

  • May 14, 2009

    Another reminder that we have to be careful with what we say.
    Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
    As I see it, it’s a very bad thing.

    Of course, the Internet is public, but it still doesn’t change the fact that companies actually can decide how you act, which is not a good thing.

    Sure, some of the tweets mentioned are not too thought through, but to be honest I saw nothing wrong with the Cisco tweet. That person wrote that tweet on their own free time.

    You should be careful with what you tweet, but you should also be entitled to say what you want, as long it’s true. IF a company has problems with someone outing them on something, it’s not the person who is to blame, it’s the company who might be doing something they shouldn’t.

    Thomas Jefferson said:
    When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.

    You can easily change that to:
    When the employee fear their employer, there is tyranny; when the employer fears the employee , there is liberty.

  • May 14, 2009

    I really love this one;) but unfortunately my boss is not bad enough to be scold nor good enough to be praised…

  • May 14, 2009

    How many of these are your production?? I am sure at least one will be there. :D

  • May 15, 2009

    HAHA you should of posted the Screenshots for each Tweet, would of loved to seen it

  • May 15, 2009
    razor muse
    @razorxmuse

    well…if your stupid enough to assume it won’t be seen, i guess you deserve to be fired for being ignorant, they probably thought you were smarter than that when they hired you..LMAO

  • May 15, 2009

    Its amazing that these “bosses” even have time to spy on their employees.

  • May 15, 2009

    This is too funny! Never ceases to amaze me how people don’t think these things through. I’d think that with the current job market, people wouldn’t be doing anything that could jeopardize their job.

  • May 15, 2009
    Anon (my boss is reading)
    @noone14

    The Savy tweeter must make their profiles privateto avoid thisand of course not make friends with their boss or other untrustworthy work colleagues.

  • May 15, 2009

    @carla: Employers always have time to fire people.
    I’ve seen it too often. Instead of sitting down with an employee to make the working place better, they just fire that person and hire a new unknowing person who hopefully is a mindless drone.

  • May 15, 2009

    @xen – you might be right about that; especially in larger companies!

  • May 18, 2009

    “I hear you’ve been missing a lot of work lately”… “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.” Office Space needs to come out with a sequel that incorporates Twitter.

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